


can't help falling in love

by annaannanas



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-10-27 18:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20765198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annaannanas/pseuds/annaannanas
Summary: this is my first fic, please be gentle





	can't help falling in love

_wise man say only fools rush in_

the jedi code was very clear about love. jedi were only allowed to feel love in form of unconditional compassion or mercy, all other kind of attachment, like romantic or possessive love was definitely forbidden. 

obi-wan knew that what he felt towards his former padawan was unconditional, but it was also far away from only compassion.

_but i can't help falling in love with you_

anakin meant the world to him. that young man was his whole life, first because the mission of training him was the only thing that stopped his heart from burning out on qui-gon's pyre. 

then, because, after so many years together, he realized that anakin's smile enlightened his soul and the mere thought of losing him would made obi-wan throw up, even after all those years of listening the jedi saying that he should let go of all his attachments.

_shall i stay? _

_would it be a sin _

_if i can't help falling in love with you?_

then, interrupting obi-wan's thoughts, anakin entered the room covered in sweat, his cheeks red and breathing like he had ran a marathon on tatooine's desert.

"obi-wan, i need to talk to you." said anakin after taking a deep breath. 

"what ? something bad happened?" asked obi-wan in a worried tone. 

"no, it isn't very important, it's just that i've been feeling in a weird way for a long time, and i thought that i should talk to you about it, since you were my master during all these years." said anakin in a half shy, half confused way. 

obi-wan took a step closer to the younger jedi and said softly: 

"tell me what you're feeling, maybe we can work together on a way out of this situation." 

"you know master, i'm not the biggest follower of the jedi councli, but i think i've been doing something that's really against the jedi code. and by saying it i mean really, really against the code, like something that could get me expelled from th jedi order." 

"anakin, tell me what is it, now!!!" said obi-wan panicking. 

a thousand of thoughts went through his mind at that moment, what of so wrong could anakin be doing, has he been giving secret information to the separatist troops, had he murdered another jedi and hid its body into the janitor's locker, or worst, was he working for the mysterious sith lord ? 

"the thing is that i love you master, i truly, deeply love yoy, and i've been loving you for a long time, since before the war began, since before i was knighted, and i think you should know it." 

obi-wan felt like he would drop his mouth n the floor, anakin loved him, anakin really loved him, and for a long time. he wished he could jump at the younger jedi's arms and tell him that he felt the same and that he loved him more than there are star in the galaxy. 

but he couldn't. it would be a really big infraction that could get them both expelled from the order. and obi-wan didn't feel capable of doing that, he couldn't make the republic two of their most important generals during a war, he couldn't betray the council after recieving so much trust during all his years as a jedi. 

but most important, he couldn't make the the galaxy lose anakin, after all, he was the choosen on, born to bring balance to the force and destroy the sith. obi-wan couldn't put the destiny of billions of creatures in danger just because he was in love with the space's savior. 

"i'm so sorry to say it, but i do not feel the same towards you. and you should learn better how to control your feelings, we talked about it lots of times, a jedi cannot have attachments and you seem to get attached to everyone that comes through your life, this is going to get you in a big trouble someday, like being expelled from the jedi order or worst, falling to the dark side" said obi-wan as he felt his heart shatter in a million pieces for breaking anakin's heart. 

"it's okay master, i didn't expect you to return my feelings, i'll try to be a better jedi from this moment on" said anakin in a sad tone while leaving the room as obi-wan made an enormous effort to keep a straight face and not burst into tears in front of his former padawan.

"if only i could tell you how much i love, how you're my whole life, world and soul. and how much it hurts having to to turn you down" though obi-wan as he couldn't stop the tears from running through his cheeks.

_like a river flows surely to the sea_

_darling so it goes_

_somethings are meant to be _

after sharing that conversation, obi-wan and anakin spent some months without seeing each other, due to the escalate of the war against the separatusts and the fact of being the best generals in the republican army, they were assigned to fight in different places, only talking briefly and about work topics during this time.

until the separatists invaded an important republican base on the outer rim and the jedi council decided they would need their dream team working together again.

obi-wan was very nervous on really talking to anakin after breaking his heart, but for his surprise the jedi knight acted like that conversation never hppened between them, joking with the clones and teasing his former master about all the times he had to save his skin.

obi-wan was almost forgetting their past talk and starting to feel relaxed by anakin's side again, until their ship landed and as they prepared to enter the battlefield, anakin looked at him in a way the jedi master felt all his body shake as if the knight could stare at his very soul said:

"i have a bad feeling about this assignment, almost as if this was the last time we will ever see each othermaster, please, be careful i wouldn't know what to do with myself if something happende to you. so, may the force be with you, my dear friend."

as a good jedi, obi-wan tried to keep his mind clear during the battle, but he couldn't help worrying about anakin and his words, the younger general was known for having prophetic dreams and visions, what could he have seen about his battle?

obi-wan wasn't afraid of dying, his training taught him that death is only a natural path to rejoice the force and find eternal peace, but he was afraid of leaving anakin, the force only knew how devasted he would be, and that maybe could lead him to fall to the dark side.

while destroying the separarists battle droids, obi-wan caught a glimpse of fighting not far from him, wielding his lightsaber with an enormous grace, as if he belonged to the battlefield, his concentrated face as the force guided his movements, looking as beautiful as ever, what made the jedi's master heart melt.

even though the republic sent their best troop to that assignment, the battle was being hard, with lots of injuries and deaths for both sides. obi-wan was doing the best he could, letting the force flow through his body and mind and guide his movements, but suddenly he saw himself surrounded by the separatist s troopers, he tried to block the blaster's shoots with his lightsaber, but there were too many of them.

then, obi-wan saw anakin, coming from nowhere to help him, slaughtering all the enemies in the blink of an eye and smiling to him as saying:

"see, master? you'll always need me to save your skin, even though you're too grumpy to admit it."

obi-wan smiled back and was on the verge of returning the joke whe he saw blood coming from anakin's armor as his face turned to a sick white. 

anakin fell to the ground, blood escaping from his back, chest and abdomen as obi-wan felt the despair overcome his mind and made him forget about all his years of jedi training.

“REX, FIVES, CODY, SOMEONE PLEASE HELP, GENERAL SKYWALKER IS DOWN, PLEASE, I REPEAT ANAKIN IS DOWN” cried obi-wan as he felt his heart being extirpated from his chest. it couldn’t end this way, the love of his love couldn’t die on a dirty battlefield on the outer rim, and worst, he couldn’t let anakin die thinking that he didn’t love him back. 

“please anakin, please stay with me, hold on just a bit more, the clones are coming with help, everything will be okay.”

as anakin’s skin turned paler and his eyes started to lose its bright, he turned to obi-wan and said in a melancholic tone:

”it’s over for me my master, but it doesn’t matter, i was able to save you one last time, and please even knowing that you don’t love me back, let me tell you one last time that i love you more than there are stars in the galaxy, and please make me one last promise and say that everything will be fine after i die. ”

”you’re not going to die anakin, i can’t let you die, you’re the choosen one, you still have to bring balance to the force, to save the galaxy, to end the war.”

”why don’t you understand? i don’t care for this dumbass prophecy or for this fucking war, i only care about you, and i’ll be happy to know that i died to save your life.”

”i can’t let you die because i love you!!” cried obi-wan as he leaned in to meet anakin’s lips for their first and probably last kiss.

obi-wan left his whole soul on that kiss, his lips softly pressing anakin’s, their mouths moving slowly as he tasted a mix of his tears and his lover’s blood. as soon as they parted the medical droids arrived and the clone troopers had to take obi-wan away from anakin’s dying body as he screamed and cried as if his soul was being torn apart.

_take my hand, take my whole life too_

_for i can’t help falling in love with you _

three days had passed and obi-wan still hadn’t left anakin’s side on the healing halls of the jedi temple. all the medical droids states that the younger general only survived due to his high midchlorian count, his injuries were so bad that otherwise he wouldn’t have made it. 

despite knowing that anakin was probably going to survive, obi-wan couldn’t stop worrying about him and about what would happen to their relationship when he woke up. 

lost on his thoughts obi-wan didn’t even realize that anakin was awake and looking at him with the most beautiful smile ever.

”good morning, master. you look like crap, is everything all right?”

”thank the force, anakin, i haven’t slept in days, you lost so much blood, and there were so many holes on your body that the whole order thinks it’s a miracle that you’re alive.”

”it was but a scratch, you guys are such drama queens.”

”look at who’s saying it.”

suddenly anakin face turned serious and he looked deep in obi-wan’s eyes as saying:

”master, when i was dying i heard you say something to me, was i hallucinating or was it really true?”

obi-wan felt his heart skip a beat, what was he going to say, he couldn’t break anakin’s heart again after the jedi knight almost died to save his life, but if he said the truth they could both be expelled from the jedi order.

for once in his life obi-wan let his heart speak louder than the jedi code:

”yes, anakin, what you heard is true, i love you”

anakin couldn’t stop smiling after listening to that words, obi-wan really loved him, he couldn’t think of a happier moment on his life. 

but then, he was brought back to reality and looked sadly at obi-wan saying:

”but what about the jedi code, and the war, if we try to pursue a relationship we’re gonna end up expelled.”

”we’ll figure it out later, at this moment i only care about you.” said obi-wan as leaning to kiss anakin for their second time, with his heart full of love and hope for their future.

_for i can’t help falling in love with you _

_for i can’t help falling in love with you _

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic, please be gentle


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